Category Archives: Movie Reviews

Movie review: Galaxy Quest, by DreamWorks

Webmaster’s note 1/17/2016: This is an old review from the previous version of the site, which we’re bringing in as a post so that it’ll be searchable in the reviews categories with newer content.

Galaxy Quest

Galaxy Quest

review by R’ykandar Korra’ti

I cannot believe I just spent the last two hours laughing at a Tim Allen film. I hate Tim Allen. But Galaxy Quest is hysterical.

YOU HAVE TO SEE IT.

Everybody in it is just funny, and boy howdy, do the writers know their Star Trek. It’s clever, it’s quick, it’s leaving theatres pretty quickly unless the overwhemingly good word-of-mouth saves it.

I’m not going to say anything in detail about it. Just funny, funny, funny. Go see it.

Movie review: Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, by Hironobu Sakaguchi

Webmaster’s note 1/17/2016: This is an old review from the previous version of the site, which we’re bringing in as a post so that it’ll be searchable in the reviews categories with newer content.

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within

reviewed by Erin Barger

OK. Just got back from seeing Final Fantasy.

Animation: Very well done, very realistic. However, it is so close to be real that it’s almost distracting that it’s not real.

Plot: As far as your typical sci-fi goes, it’s, like I said, typical. Though the introduction of Gaia into the scene added a nice touch.

Characterization: Most of the characters were well developed. Though the bad guy, the General, could have used something a bit more.

Over all a very good movie with a nice ending (which I won’t reveal here). The paper gave it 3 1/2 stars. I’m going to say that’s about what it deserves, IMHO.

Movie review: Fantasia 2000, by Disney

Webmaster’s note 1/17/2016: This is an old review from the previous version of the site, which we’re bringing in as a post so that it’ll be searchable in the reviews categories with newer content.

Fantasia 2000

review by Janis Neville

Okay, I have seen Fantasia 2000, and I am very, very, very disappointed. I thought for something like it, Disney could get away from their formulaic crap, but it seems that they cannot. It is nowhere near as good as the original Fantasia, and I think Disney lost some of the vision that went into making something like it. They just went through the motions and made it all franchised.

Each story that Disney put to music (instead of the other way around, making an evocative animation from the music) displayed some trite aspect of Disney’s recent style of animation. Each was a very character concerned story that ended up happily. Many of the animations didn’t seem at all suited to the music, or were very confused in what they were doing. I think that they maybe chose some of the music poorly, and also seemed to cheapen it by setting it to the animations.

I was amused some by some of the animations, confused a lot by others. I was amused by some of the host segments too, but that was mostly because of James Earl Jones dubbed over in Japanese and I couldn’t understand whatever jokes they were trying to make.

I wish I could get my money back.

Movie review: Eyes Wide Shut, by Stanley Kubrick

Webmaster’s note 1/17/2016: This is an old review from the previous version of the site, which we’re bringing in as a post so that it’ll be searchable in the reviews categories with newer content.

Eyes Wide Shut

review by Duryea Edwards

A Morality Fable …

An Erotic Tale Of Lust And Its Consequences …

Played Out By Joe And Jane Average …

Bill Hartford (Tom Cruise) has just been placed in a bind by his wife asking the proverbial “Does this dress make me look too fat?” sort of question. While high, she has confessed to the fact that she has lusted for other men. Six months ago it was a handsome young navel officer at a vacation resort. Last night, it was a refined older gentleman who danced with her at a Christmas Party.

Since her inhibitions are already down, Alice (Nicole Kidman) is now demanding to know how Bill feels about all of this. What does he think about her confession of lust? How does he feel in his heart about other women? Does he lust for any of the attractive young women that his position as a doctor places him into contact with?

Bill has no idea of what to say, and even if he did it wouldn’t matter. All of this is new to him, but Alice has been letting the whole thing fester for the past few months. She’s mad as hell at herself, but she’s taking it all out on him. It doesn’t really matter what he says or tries to say. Nothing will be right. She’s looking for him be wrong, so he has to be wrong.

Their exchange of information is interrupted by Bill receiving a telephone call telling him that a patient of his has died. He needs to go provide some emotional support to the man’s daughter. He also needs to have some time to think about everything Alice has told him.

As the story continues to evolve, we see the universal struggle between the forces of temptation and propriety being played out. The idea of possibly cheating on his wife, which was firmly hidden in the back of Bill’s mind, has now been pulled up to the surface by her recent confession. Fate obliges the situation by placing in front of Bill a series of circumstances which an average man would not even dream of encountering within the course of an evening.

Director Stanley Kubrick has attempted to construct what is called a plausible improbability. One event must lead to another in a manner which is highly unlikely but ultimately entertaining. In a screwball comedy such as Arsenic and Old Lace or A Fish Called Wanda, the viewer watches the story expecting to give it a few grains of salt. But Eyes Wide Shut is intended to be an erotic character study laced with suspense. A set of events which should be taking at least seven hours to unfold cannot be shown happening in only four. As the storytellers attempt to cram what should be at least 60 hours of action and character growth into a time span of less than 36 hours, the basic nature of the story becomes less believable than it would have been if everything had been allowed to stretch into one more day. Bill simply can’t be in that many places doing that many things in such a short span of time.

I’ll give the film a solid three stars. Cruise and Kidman are excellent as Bill and Alice, and the wonderfully erotic nature of the story helps to overcome the inconsistencies in the plot timing. I have read that the untimely death of Kubrick made it necessary for someone else to complete the final cut of the film. I can only wonder if having his hand there at the very end would have made a significant difference in the pacing of the story.

Movie review: Atlantis: The Lost Empire, by Disney

Webmaster’s note 1/17/2016: This is an old review from the previous version of the site, which we’re bringing in as a post so that it’ll be searchable in the reviews categories with newer content.

Disney’s Atlantis

reviewed by Carl Parlagreco

Short review: It sucks.

Long review: It’s weak, it’s poorly animated, the characters have no depth, and it holds no entertainment value for anybody that is even approaching puberty.

The animation is in a style that I have never seen before, and I hope to never see again.

The princess went from about apparent physical age 5 to about apparent physical age 21 in about 8000 years, and yet she was still arguing with her father like she was a child. She’s apparently been spending the last few centuries playing in the water and doing her nails. Not that being an airhead is such a bad thing for her. Apparently, the people that made it into the dome with her weren’t the society’s rocket scientists. (See the technology rant, below).

This advanced technological society never invented clappers for their bells.

Oh, yes, the really big one. They forgot how to use their technology. What the fuck was that all about? I mean, we’re not talking the knowledge was lost through the passing of generations. THESE WERE THE SAME PEOPLE! I’m sorry, but I’m pretty sure that if I were stuck on an island somewhere for eight thousand years, I’d retain the basics of how to drive a car. I might be awfully rusty after all of that time, but I’m not going to lose it as much as these people did. And what did they do with themselves in all that time? Okay, maybe they couldn’t dig out right away. But hell, at the end of the movie, they sure sent their topsider heroes home in grand style. If my home gets buried, I’m going to want to dig out in a little bit less than EIGHT THOUSAND YEARS!

Do I have anything positive to say about it? Yes. I thought that the casting was wonderful. James Garner, Claudia Christian, and ‘Father Guido Sarducci’. Oh, did anybody notice that the demolition guy’s name was Santorini? I found that amusing. I liked the tie-in with the historical location.

Movie review: A.I, directed by Steven Spielberg

Webmaster’s note 1/17/2016: This is an old review from the previous version of the site, which we’re bringing in as a post so that it’ll be searchable in the reviews categories with newer content.

A.I.

reviewed by R’ykandar Korra’ti

Spoiler-free picoreview:
This movie, while excellent, is more depressing than the alternate version of Schindler’s List where the Germans win.

Spoiler-free comments list:
Stanley Kubrick apparently directed about half of this and built about half the sets, all from the grave, via his production notes. (It was originally a Kubrick project.) Sixth Sense wasn’t a fluke; Haley Joel Osment is astounding. Holy crow this movie is depressing. Don’t take your kids; if they don’t understand it, they’ll be bored to tears; if they do understand it, they’ll be locked into hysterical depression for about a YEAR. And did I mention this movie was depressing?